punca air mata jatuh #2

Tuhan takkan bagi ujian yang kau sendiri tak boleh nak tanggung. Semua ni jadi sekarang, Dia suruh kau belajar bersabar san. Be strong san.

39.4°C. 5hrs kt emergency ward. 3 botol saline. okay, aku dah serik.


moral of the story: makan ubat kalau rasa tak sihat. jangan berlagak kuat.




getting better,
a-san

2 biji sebelum makan, 1 biji selepas makan, 3 kali sehari

apa guna makan painkiller kalau rasa sakit tu tak hilang jugak lagi. buat tambah gastric aku lagi ade la. T_T




in pain,
a-san

tag #007, 100 truths

WHAT WAS YOUR:

1. Last beverage: air dari water cooler

2. Last phone call: Haziq Pratama

3. Last text message: M.A

4. Last song you listened to: Give Me Everything -pitbull, nayer, ne-yo, afrojack

5. Last time you cried: few secs ago

HAVE YOU EVER:

6. Dated someone twice: never

7. Been cheated on: well, yes. but the past stays as past

8. Kissed someone and regretted it: never regretted it ;)

9. Lost someone special: a few times

10. Been depressed: I'm depressed, but i just won't show it

 11. Been drunk and threw up: never

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:  

12: red

13: lilac

14: silver (is silver an actual colour btw? -.-)

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made a new friend: yeah! plural. :D

16. Fallen out of love: no. still on the track. :)

17. Laughed until you cried: jyeahhh. a few weeks ago, and i ended up in a jammed jaw -.-

18. Met someone who changed you: yes, he changed my perspective of view towards judging people.

19. Found out who your true friends were: YES

20. Found out someone was talking about you: er yea. but i enjoy it, somehow.

21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: yeah :)

22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: 40% i guess

24. Do you have any pets: yes, a ferret-looking kitty that I named him Momoe ^^

25. Do you want to change your name: never crossed my mind

26. What did you do for your last birthday?  a weekend with my fam. i think so. can't remember -.-

27. What time did you wake up today: 10.15am

28. What were you doing at midnight last night: nothing, on my bed. lol

29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: getting my own freedom. lol

30. Last time you saw your Mother: last week

31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: that i listened to my mother to cabut my gigi when i was small so i wouldnt have this crooked teeth -.-

32. What are you listening to right now: rihanna and fan spinning

33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: a cat named Tom, yes. a person named Tom, err not yet kot.

34. Who's getting on your nerves right now: none

36. Whats your real name: Anis Fathnin Nadiah Aminuddin

37. Nicknames: a-san, sansan, anish, anis 

38. Birth month: November

39. Zodiac sign: Scorpio

40. Male or female: Female

41. Ever killed someone: never

42. Ever thought of killing someone: most of the time. lol

 44. Write whatever you want here: nak kena beli bag baru, kasut sukan baru, pump shoes baru, battery netbook baru. rabak aku. rabak -.-

45. Long or short hair? Long

46. Height: 156cm

47. Do you have a crush on someone: takde kot.

48. What do you like about yourself: sometimes I can be heartless

49. Piercings: just a pair on my ears

50. Tattoos: haram

51. Righty or lefty: Righty

FIRSTS:

52. First surgery: haven't (wish never)

53. First piercing: when i was 5, or 6 or 7. don't remember. -,-

54. First best friend: Jamila Mat :)

55. First sport you joined: err netball. boring -.-

56. First vacation: mana la ingat

58. First pair of trainers: huh?

RIGHT NOW:

59. Eating: Nope. I'm having difficulties getting food into my mouth

60. Drinking: Nope

61. I'm about to: post this post and go to shower (maybe)

62. Listening to: keyboard clicking

63. Waiting for: his call. ;)

YOUR FUTURE:

64. Want kids: someday

65. Get married: someday. haha

66. Career: teacher dah tentunya. haha

WHICH IS BETTER:

67. Lips or eyes: Eyes

68. Hugs or kisses: Can i choose both? =,= Hugs, because i don't think i'm good at kissing. haha *blushing

69. Shorter or taller: Taller pleaseee.

70. Older or Younger: Younger.

71. Romantic or spontaneous: Romantic and spontaneous. heheh

72. Nice stomach or nice arms: both both. tamak.

73. Sensitive or loud: don't care. either one can do :)

74. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship.

HAVE YOU EVER:

76. Kissed a stranger: Nope. Hope never.

77. Drank hard liquor: haram haram

78. Lost glasses/contacts: alhamdulillah still have normal vision

79. Sex on first date: i don't think so

80. Broken someone's heart: idk. hope never. 

82. Been arrested: naah. i'm a good citizen *keningkening

 83. Turned someone down: umm...yea. sorry btw.

84. Cried when someone died: yeah. i'm a normal human being

85. Fallen for a friend: hahahaaaa. yeah :P

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

86. Yourself: most of the time, NO

87. Miracles: err, kadang2.

88. Love at first sight: well..idk

89. Heaven: Yes. Of course

90. Santa Claus: No

91. Kiss on the first date: No

92. Angels: what kind of angels are you referring to? but YES to the angels in my religion.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: NO

95. Did you sing today: haha.. yess. and realizing it, i think i look like moron. +_+

96. Ever cheated on somebody: yeah. but i'm not good in it. people will know that i'm cheating

97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go: the time when he asked me to be his gf so that i wouldn't say yes and be cheated on and get mad and heartbroken

98. The moment you would choose to re-live:  the moment i being hugged from the back

99. Are you afraid of falling in love: I used to be that kind of girl. i hate to see myself loving the other. because i know, i would be a serious-lover (kickass). i would wait for him, admire him and really take care of him until i know that he will somehow..leave me. i don't want that moment to happen. i was so afraid. but somehow, somewhat. i can't see myself not falling in love, cuz i just can't stand being alone.

100. Are you afraid of posting this as 100 truths: nope. if so, i wouldn't do it at the first place.

-

you'll know i'm really in deep sadness bila tengah solat pun aku tak boleh tahan nangis.
sekali lagi jadi. kali kedua sepanjang hayat ni. ayah, along nak dekat dengan ayah sekarang ni :'(




15th please be hurry,
a-san

jaaaayyyhaaayyyy

Never crossed my mind before that this gonna happen on me.
Jealousy. That's what had happened.
But no point of being jealous this time.
Can't define what are we now.
I am no gf to you and neither do you a bf to me
Heh. Scratch that. Nevermind.
Abaikan (like what he loves to say)
Trying to keep calm and stay cool bebeh ;D




woot!,
a-san

marah pada sendiri

ada benda lebih baik tak payah cakap
ada benda lagi baik kalau disimpan je
sebab bila ada orang lain yang terkesan,
jadi menyesal kenapa boleh terlepas cakap


salahkan diri sendiri
kau tau kan kau tak pandai nak tunjuk perasaan sebenar kau,
kenapa tak disusun betul2 ayat itu
kenapa tak disebut dengan hati2 ayat itu
jadinya, apa yang dia rasa tak sama dengan apa yang diagak
katalah 'bodoh!' kat diri kau sendiri >.<


semuanya sebab sayang punya pasal,
tapi kau tak reti nak tunjuk sayang tu san.




tak betul,
a-san

one in a million

"Just cry kalau tu buat you feel better. Sometime kena let it out. Tkkn nk tahan je" - ichi

mungkin kau baca macam ayat biasa je. tapi aku tak.




till death do us apart,
a-san

Achtung: RIP

They say, distance separates. That's what had happened. But there might be something else. You and I, we're both on a different degree. You will always be that Subang kid and I am that kampung girl you always laugh at. Your way of thinking and my way of thinking, they just couldn't get quite parallel with each other. That's what I think why it didn't work out. Or maybe it was because of my own fault (that I still don't get it what they are actually) which explains your coldness towards me. Whatever they are, you could always put the blame on me cuz I know, it's because of my own actions and me being so close to whom I'm getting along with right now that trigger most of what happening now.


Nevertheless, I cherish every moment we had before, the short meet ups we had which were quite a few only and I appreciate you for being a part of my life. You've been a good friend, you thought me lots of new stuffs, you had changed my perspective towards people, a good teacher that always correct my English, was a thoughtful boyfriend and lots more. If you ask me right now, I'm not so sure if I still can say that L word to you but one thing that I am very sure of is that you play quite a part in my heart, still.


Here I am, hoping that you gonna read this cuz I don't dare to say this to you with my own mouth cuz you know I will always be that "anis-yang-penakut". I am so sorry for all the wrongdoings that I've done upon you and really hope that we could always be good friends like how we used to be at the first place. However, it will always be your own decision to say yes or no.




sincerely,
anis